Of Creaky Bones, White Hair and Contentment

It seemed like just yesterday that I was sleeping peacefully in my sarong swing crib as a babe. The years between then and now have fallen from my memory, leaving only a handful of vivid memories of my life in between. The inevitable aging process that begins from the time of our birth seems more apparent to me these days...It is most telling in my physical makeup when bits of me displays obvious obedience to gravity where previously there was definite rebellion and i make more noise just walking than actually being in conversation. These days i also sport highlights of white in my previously ebony locks...where i used to be limber i am now an aching mass of creaky bones, white hair and contentment
This is no complaint. I am actually very happy at this stage in my life despite all the trials and tribulations - they only made me stronger in mind and heart. Where i only used to have physical balance and strength, I now have balance in my intangible self - i'd like to think it's Soul Balance.
It wasn't so long ago that i was deep in discussion with my King about Happiness vs unhappiness. I was trying to articulate that the difference between these two phrases:
1) the opposite of Happiness is Unhappiness (as i understand from whatever sub standard english i have)
2) Being "Not Happy" does not equate to "Unhappiness"

Think about it for a second...read those two lines again and see if it makes sense to you. The reason for the need to articulate the above was to argue if the middle ground (being contentment) keeps us from fulfilling or chasing after dreams that truly makes us happy. I think most people will settle for contentment - it isn't happiness nor is it unhappiness but "hey! I'm alright so why rock the boat?" When we were discussing this topic, I was essentially accused of waxing philosophical. Many asked what's the point of knowing the difference. I find that it is important to know the difference and to acknowledge where you are in your life as then and only then will you know where you want to go or what you want to do.

It takes a lot of courage to face our blindness to our own position in life and a lot of effort to focus on what makes it worthwhile when our sensors are numbed by so many modern and external distractions. It's always a good time to turn inward and ask if things need to change. It's always a good time for some soul balancing.

Many of us work for a living, have children (well i have fur kids), we are all busy with activities day in and out and for the most part we are content. Giving thanks for our healthy and happy families, our job, our friends etc. But there are days that we wonder about another kind of life (usually the kind that is beyond what we have, the kind that if we were to pursue would result in opportunity cost of the present lifestyle).

So then begs the questions: Can the word contentment be used interchangeable with the word fear? Is it the contentment that keeps us in the routine or fear or both? If it is fear, then what is it we fear?

I have an accquaintance who travels around a fair bit, never stays in one country for longer than 2 years. She is very proud of her achievements and her worldliness as i am of her. But one day she mentioned proudly that the reason she moves about so much is that she is not afraid of changes. Of course put like that most people would view it as an attribute to be proud of as most homosapiens would have been tagged as afraid of change. So i thought i'd offer her another point of view...would it be possible that she was afraid of contentment...afraid that roots would not return the desired results and that this affected her decision to move on and along every couple of years? Could it be the contentment of moving and never growing roots at any one place keep her from finding true happiness? Or is it fear? Will she have the courage to look inside?

Soul Balance is hard to achieve and maintain. Change is necessary for the pursuit of happiness. No recommendation for anything major. Little changes in attitudes, small pushes for progress in a different direction will produce some hardships along the way but the road to any kind of balance has never been flat, straight or easy. I ask for the courage to turn my eyes inside every once in a while and the strength to fight creaky bones, white hair and contentment - all in a bid for happiness.