Of Creaky Bones, White Hair and Contentment

It seemed like just yesterday that I was sleeping peacefully in my sarong swing crib as a babe. The years between then and now have fallen from my memory, leaving only a handful of vivid memories of my life in between. The inevitable aging process that begins from the time of our birth seems more apparent to me these days...It is most telling in my physical makeup when bits of me displays obvious obedience to gravity where previously there was definite rebellion and i make more noise just walking than actually being in conversation. These days i also sport highlights of white in my previously ebony locks...where i used to be limber i am now an aching mass of creaky bones, white hair and contentment
This is no complaint. I am actually very happy at this stage in my life despite all the trials and tribulations - they only made me stronger in mind and heart. Where i only used to have physical balance and strength, I now have balance in my intangible self - i'd like to think it's Soul Balance.
It wasn't so long ago that i was deep in discussion with my King about Happiness vs unhappiness. I was trying to articulate that the difference between these two phrases:
1) the opposite of Happiness is Unhappiness (as i understand from whatever sub standard english i have)
2) Being "Not Happy" does not equate to "Unhappiness"

Think about it for a second...read those two lines again and see if it makes sense to you. The reason for the need to articulate the above was to argue if the middle ground (being contentment) keeps us from fulfilling or chasing after dreams that truly makes us happy. I think most people will settle for contentment - it isn't happiness nor is it unhappiness but "hey! I'm alright so why rock the boat?" When we were discussing this topic, I was essentially accused of waxing philosophical. Many asked what's the point of knowing the difference. I find that it is important to know the difference and to acknowledge where you are in your life as then and only then will you know where you want to go or what you want to do.

It takes a lot of courage to face our blindness to our own position in life and a lot of effort to focus on what makes it worthwhile when our sensors are numbed by so many modern and external distractions. It's always a good time to turn inward and ask if things need to change. It's always a good time for some soul balancing.

Many of us work for a living, have children (well i have fur kids), we are all busy with activities day in and out and for the most part we are content. Giving thanks for our healthy and happy families, our job, our friends etc. But there are days that we wonder about another kind of life (usually the kind that is beyond what we have, the kind that if we were to pursue would result in opportunity cost of the present lifestyle).

So then begs the questions: Can the word contentment be used interchangeable with the word fear? Is it the contentment that keeps us in the routine or fear or both? If it is fear, then what is it we fear?

I have an accquaintance who travels around a fair bit, never stays in one country for longer than 2 years. She is very proud of her achievements and her worldliness as i am of her. But one day she mentioned proudly that the reason she moves about so much is that she is not afraid of changes. Of course put like that most people would view it as an attribute to be proud of as most homosapiens would have been tagged as afraid of change. So i thought i'd offer her another point of view...would it be possible that she was afraid of contentment...afraid that roots would not return the desired results and that this affected her decision to move on and along every couple of years? Could it be the contentment of moving and never growing roots at any one place keep her from finding true happiness? Or is it fear? Will she have the courage to look inside?

Soul Balance is hard to achieve and maintain. Change is necessary for the pursuit of happiness. No recommendation for anything major. Little changes in attitudes, small pushes for progress in a different direction will produce some hardships along the way but the road to any kind of balance has never been flat, straight or easy. I ask for the courage to turn my eyes inside every once in a while and the strength to fight creaky bones, white hair and contentment - all in a bid for happiness.

Bubble-dom going pretty in green

I have quite a large garden in my Kingdom. Since moving in years ago, i have failed to do any kind of landscaping - partly coz of the cost and partly coz of being too involved in the business of ruling the Kingdom. About a year ago, i started to take an interest in plants...I thought they made the Kingdom look warm and alive - for as long as they lived. Which wasn't very long if the Royal Gardener was yours truly.

The local nusery is now my second home...I have to pick up new plants almost every fortnight to replace the ones that have gone to green heaven. It's really not my fault...let me explain the various ways a plant can go to Green Heaven:

1) Death by Thirst (this is when the King and I forget to water them over a couple of days)
2) Death by Pee (This is when the royal knights decide to empty their little bladders on the plants to help them grow big and strong - the plants usually die from too much goodness)
3) Death by Fertilizer (The myth is fertilizer is good for the plants - they should advertise that artifical fertilizers are much much much much stronger than the au naturel ones)
4) Death by Drowning (No one told me it was possible to drown a plant)
5) Death by Attendance - of a dog fight (The knights can't help it if they hurl themselves around in their fight for alpha male domination - the plants should know better than to stay potted there)
6) Death by Bugs (Ever seen an infestation? No? Come round for a cuppa - and i will show you the royal grounds...)

There...those are the most common death patterns of the plants around the royal grounds. But now i have a new project (i can hear my king groaning at this). That is to plant a border hedge just outside my bedroom so that i can wake up to beautiful ixora (yellow ones) every morning...of course provided they survive long enough to "grow up".

So it was with this project in mind that we went to purchase the little bush packs of yellow ixora (all from the local nusery of course - the queen must support local industry - and if i do say so myself - i do a grand job at the local nusery). We got 15 in all, carted them home, brought out the hoe and made myself a nice ice lemon tea to sit in the shade whilst my king worked on getting himself a blister on his soft royal hands. Have to say...he was kinda cute....sweating buckets and constantly looking at his little blister and breathing really hard. In the end all good shows must come to an end...so we managed to dig 7 holes. The good news is that some shows have sequels and my fun will begin once the weekend starts again - he has another eight holes to do.

If i viewed my life as a garden then i would have planted many plants (attempted many things) some lived and flourished whilst other passed on (sometimes i succeed and other times i dun), and i keep going back to the nusery for more (i try try and try again).

To date i have about 9 fir trees (the kinds that scare the ghoulies away), 15 yellow ixoras and counting, 8 Orchids, 3 Jasmines, 2 good luck plants (they are flourishing - i take it as a good sign), 1 cutting from an unknown shrub (also flourishing), 1 wild grass flower, 5 roses, 2 Elegant plants, 1 money plant (also fourishing), 2 baby ferns, 1 giant fern, 3 bonsai, and possibly 9 snake plants (fingers crossed) and finally a herb garden consisting of coriander, chili, chili padi, daun limou perut, mint plus a couple of others. I have consulted a landscaper and i am planning to have frangipani trees and more jasmines in the main part of the garden. I'm also planning to go round my estate to get bougainvilla cuttings...so i have to say my garden and life is looking good.