My Popo

My earliest memories of my PoPo (my maternal grandma) is that of jet black hair, fierce looking face, horn-rimmed glasses, one hand on hip and the other wielding a rotan (cane). I cried a lot when i was young giving new definition at that time to the term cry baby. It wasn't that she'd beat me or scold me....i was just a very fretful child. These days i dun cry as much, even though i want to or feel the deepest sadness that comes with the loss of my PoPo.

My PoPo co-brought me up with my parents. We were not wealthy when i was a child. I almost always got hand me down clothes from my sister and treats came in the form of 10cents being placed in my hand sneakily by my grandpa (God bless his soul - he left us quite some years ago) to go play "Tikam" (a gambling game of chance for kids - prizes usually were toys etc) whilst my Popo would nag about wasting money. She would cook up a storm - true nyonya dishes. She would "tepok" (pet) me to sleep and whilst i slept she would fan me with a folded newspaper. She has the best collection of kebayas i ever had seen in my life and she used to love playing mahjong and "ciki"

As usual when you are a child you hardly know the adults that are bringing you up to be a responsible adult. When you are a teenager you refuse to listen to their wisdom and wise advice. When you are a young adult you are too busy building your life to pay much attention to those who spent their lives giving you yours. The dawning of the characters of the people who bring you up through this world comes slowly and sometimes to late. When i say dawning...i mean the slow growth of awareness...and that's how it is for me and probably most of you as well.

At the place that i am now - more or less stable, more or less happy, more or less fulfilled i see things differently. I can see now that when i was growing things were really tough and my parents and grandparent really had to work very hard for themselves and us - especially us. The attitudes and mentality of then and now are vastly different. Choices that were limited then built stronger characters and endurance. Unlimited choices in this day and age have made the younger generations weak. I am glad to say that i am not so far from that ole generation that i have benefited from that attitudes and mental and mettle building that was so strong during that period.

My Popo who recently passed away reached iconic status in my mind probably over the last 10 years where it dawned on me all her sacrifices, her strong will, her fight till the end mentality (that usually drove her kids mad!) her softness, her need for love throughout her life and her love and tenderness (despite appearances) for us all. Undoubtedly she has touched and taught everyone who has ever had the opportunity to meet her. through her i have learnt to see the flip side of every coin, through her, i learnt to see the silver lining in every dark cloud, through her i learnt respect, tolerance, negotiation, will power and many other skills that will be with me till i die.

I miss my Popo. I feel sad that she is gone but i am glad that she is in a better place (possibly harrassing all the angels in heaven as we speak) She is the last TRUE Matriach of the Nyonya line in my family. She is a character like no other. I miss kissing her and having her hug me as i promise to return from KL to visit with her soon. she has lived 86 years and suffered, enjoyed, endured more life than most people i know. Nothing i can write her will ever describe her as she sits in my mind and in my heart. She used to call me cry baby...well her "Bibian" doesn't cry as much as she did and could not cry when she left us...i guess her lessons have sank in more deeply than i thought. She will always be a part of me. I can see bits of her floating around in me and i feel proud that she was my POPO and that pride of being part of her, her pride in life will stay with me forever.

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Remember this song? Well, not a lot of a song since most of its lyrics revolves around those five words and a lot of barking! So it has a catchy tune and most people would remember it. I definitely do...and it isn't because the song is good or i really like the beat.

This song has stuck in memory as it reminds me of the first time hubby lost our dog - Poppet (he has since been found, put back all the weight he lost and become as obnoxious as he used to be) That was the theme song that i sang to hubby everynight for as long as it took us to locate Poppet!
Man, that was real punishment - having to listen to that crap song and feel guilty about our then missing pooch at the same time. Poor Hubby! Poorer Me - I had to sing the damn thing!

After we found Poppet though, i stopped singing that song and tot to myself: "Thank God! It is a terrible song and it's definitely not my cup of tea!" So i tot Me and hubby would be safe from ever having to listen to that beat again (unless some clueless DJ puts the tune on!)

Wishful thinking...tonight i found our gate wide open and both Poppet and Wolfie had disappeared. Heart Attack Alert! Screaming at hubby (it would probably be him seeing as i was no where near the autogate keys) I caught sight of Poppet loitering around our car outside. So i called for him and he wagged his curly pig tail and sauntered over - seems he still remembers what it was like to be lost! So at least i had found one of them. Walking him back to the house the autogate starts to close and hubby is stumbling out of the house with three leads over his shoulder and the little dog (Mags) under his arm. If he had hair...it would look tousled and that would have completed his look of shock and guilt.

When he saw that i had Poppet - he opened the gate and got Poppet safely inside. Then we both took off looking for Wolfie. he drove, i walked. I walked all the usual paths we take for walkies but i could not find Wolfie...When i came to the end of the street and the end of my hope of finding Wolfie...Hubby pulls up in the car and the joy i experienced when i spotted Wolfie in the seat next to him was like "woo hoo!!!". Needless to say...the joy of finding my dog was great but not greater than the fact that i would not have had to sing that **** song again!

Who says there aren't miracles? i experienced two this evening!